Cut out and keep handy Department of Health press release guide

 

(delete as necessary)

 

Today it is revealed that GPs are

failing /getting worse at dementia detection/sending patients to A+E/offering health checks/objecting to telehealth.

This is important because we need to have

an external locus of blame/policy to support the technology industry/policy to support the pharmaceutical industry/policy popular with people also fit enough and able enough to go and vote/control over GPs so that privatisation is easier.

It would be totally untrue to suggest that the aforementioned is

anything to do with NHS commissioning causing fragmentation/staff doing ‘policy’ tasks of little/no value to patients/closing A+E departments/tender for out of hours being based on cost, not safety.

We note that some doctors claim their insubordination is because our policy lacks

evidence/a wish to reduce health inequality/usefulness/resources

However, if we are to achieve a world-class, no decision about me without me, patient choice led shiny logo-ed healthcare, with superb PR and media departments to make the most of commissioning, we need to ensure that

GPs are worn down and blamed/private providers think that GPs can make lots of efficiency savings/the public think they are unhappy with GPs/that secondary care blame GPs, and GPs blame secondary care/that commissioning from private companies looks like it can save the NHS.

(insert report) from Think Tank  (though note; may be using dubious evidence base (eg http://margaretmccartney.com/2013/04/03/price-waterhouse-coopers-report-on-technology-was-expensive-and-is-flawed/)

 

 

 

4 Responses to “Cut out and keep handy Department of Health press release guide”

  1. John Spencer May 16, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

    Excellent!

  2. sldawlatly May 17, 2013 at 8:10 am #

    Brilliant and funny, yet tragic…

  3. Michael May 18, 2013 at 2:14 pm #

    *****’s for Friends and Family

    -100 QOF points

  4. E sheppard May 18, 2013 at 11:26 pm #

    Mgt for Queen of the RCGP

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